>a lengthy entry about life without internet access


I’m still here. Or rather I’m here again. We had trouble with the internet as in we had none because our new provider sucked and so I had neither warning this would happen nor any way of accessing the web. *hate*
So what happened.
I went horseback riding and I really liked it. Western is much better than the usual ‘English’ way of riding. Also my horse was cute and cuddled with me voluntarily as I was nearly collapsing afterwards out of fatigue. He put his head first against my chest gently and as I sat down in front of him, he put his mouth on the top of my head, very softly like you lay your hand on the head of a child. So so cute.

The next day onward, I was bruised. My behind is black and blue, my legs won’t move left or right only front and back. My hands are cut (wtf how did that happen?). I love it. *lol*
Also, one of the many Viggo Mortensen books currently on their way here (hopefully) has arrived. Signlanguage. My reaction: OMGWTFILOVEYOUSOMUCHMARRYME. :-p
Seriously. Anyone who loves photography or painting or Viggo or art should own one of his books and from the ones I already have, I’d advise you should get this one. Because it has magnificent photographs and paintings, however no poems.

I want to stand in front of his art and be able to scrutinize it. I want to see his photographs in print for real and not re-sized and re-printed in a book. I get his approach to work. I have sensed from the first time I saw something of his, that I completely get it. But this book has confirmed it. He captures life. Moments. Reflects, observes, doesn’t judge. ( I have always thought of myself of doing the same thing, of the moments being my mission operative. I do judge however). And I learned or rather I understood, that maybe, my reluctance or difficulty to go through with conceptual photoshoots (and trust me there is a whole book full of notes and ideas) is, I am unwilling and reluctant to stage them despite being truly interested in the ideas behind them. But my understanding of photography is to stage as little as possible. Even during wedding photography I try to focus on the little moments between the often necessary poses.  I understand myself a little better thanks to his work and that is weird but true.  I always thought it is what a photographer does. To construct and stage and plan. I guess it’s not with me. And I feel fine with it, because I can still ‘break  the rule’ but I don’t put the pressure on me of having to do it.
I also love his journal entries, which are printed. There are just a handful. For some reason, this one makes my heart warm:
The impulse to re-work, the refusal to leave well-enough alone, invites creative paralysis, a state defiantly hopeless. Driving force(s) behind such incessant tampering with thought-done work cannot be justified, only endured with humor and tolerance. No one else to blame. May be on to something, tough, on a golden path. Who knows. Nothing works sometimes. Ruin is always likely…(Viggo Mortensen, journal entry, October 31,2001)
I can relate, I find it calming, I find it true and honest and wonderful. I don’t know why, I just do.
I light of me having no internet, I painted. (This also comes from looking at Viggo books, because it makes me reach out and paint and write as well as take photos (which I want to do all the time anyway)). And I got bold on this one and I love it to death. I don’t know if it’s good or crude or ugly. But honestly, I don’t care one bit. I love it. And that’s all that matters for now. Plus nobody cares for my paintings anyway. (plus: crappy photo)

So, what did you do during the last 5 days?

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